Dealing with a child’s temper is always a nightmare. It involves a lot more patience and understanding of the kid. Unfortunately many parents doesn’t focus on dealing with their kid’s temper issues. Handling these challenging situations will be easy once the reasons behind the tantrums are identified.
A tantrum is an outburst that happens when a child is trying to get something she wants. Tantrum is not only related with wanting for things, its basically seeking attention. The kid may need the toy or a turn to play with her brother or the mom’s attention while she is spending time with the other kid. So, when the kid is not getting what he wants and he is already impulsive, the kid may react in a way so that he can seek some attention from you. Kids communicate during tantrums in the way of yelling, kicking, beating etc… and still they know to control their behavior. Kids try hard until they get what they want but once they realize that their behavior is not helping they might stop doing that.
In some instances kids look for the Mom or Dad’s reaction in a middle of the tantrum to make sure you are looking at him. Once you are watching him he may continue from where he stopped. Their only goal is to seek your attention and manipulating you to give what he wants.
Kids are so smart and they do know how embarrassed you feel when your child is having some tantrum moments in a mall or any outdoor places. So, they just make use of these opportunities and create a scene so that you might get him what he needs to avoid others looking at you.
Normally, tantrums reduces gradually when you stop enabling them. Some parents do make a wrong choice of giving what he wants to break down the tantrum moments. Believe me, this is not gonna help your kid for the long run. Before handling the tantrum, finding the reason of how the tantrum was triggered might help you to deal with it effectively.
What Causes Tantrums:
These are the basic reasons behind every kid’s tantrum and knowing the actual cause before each tantrum was triggered might give you a better idea on handling the kinds of the situations. Kids may be unwell, tired or hunger often which can be easily identified on seeing your kid. But, the tantrums triggered by feeling scared or jealous of a sibling or disappointed at not getting what they want all involves seeking attention. Make sure you are not enabling each time.
How to Handle and Deal with Temper Tantrums :
When your child is out of control they need you to stay with them and help them to manage their feelings. This is called ” time-in”. Hug your child. It makes them feel they are secure and Mom or Dad is not angry at them. It builds a trust and they learn no matter how bad things are, you will not abandon them.
Little nap or Food does the magic:
You might have noticed kids normally show a pattern of tantrum moments occurring before their nap time or during their meal time. Tired and hunger is the common cause for the tantrums. Offer them food before they start feeling hunger because some kids are so impulsive and they do no know to deal with the feelings. Try to maintain a routine which might help your kid to predict the situation.
Communicating of what they need leads to less Tantrum:
Apart from tired and hunger, kids needs things like a toy, chocolate or a movie time but they do not know how to communicate especially kids under the age of 2. Teach them how to communicate with the sign language which might be very helpful for both parents and the kids.
Create a Diversion:
Normally kids can be easily diverted as they have short attention spans. When your kid outbursts just divert them with something interesting they might like. My kid easily gets diverted when I offer her anything to eat even though she is not hungry. Make sure you give them some healthy snacks rather than chocolates.
Ignore the Moments:
Kids reasoning part of the brain isn’t working during tantrums. If you choose out to talk with your kid then surely your child is not gonna hear you. Give some time let your child get calm and later you can talk.
Let all those Big Feelings out in a safe way:
Occasionally its better to let your kids big feelings out. Teach your kid to do that in a safe way. You can ask your kid to count numbers, make a prayer or do a scribbling in a notepad when your kids get anger. So that it is not suppressed and can be expressed in a safe way.
Practicing these steps will drastically reduces tantrum moments from occurring often. But, still there are some instance where situations are out of control and reasoning is a must at that time.
Children need to understand that their feelings have been heard by us, before they move on. So, after the tantrum moments once your child and you are calm enough, try to reason out with your kid. Why behaving so aggressive is bad and what can be done alternatively.
Tell your kid that you know how the kid’s feeling was. For instance:
“You seem very angry. Can you tell me what happened?”
“I know you liked that toy and you must be really disappointed.”
“I am here for you always. Do you need a hug?”
Be kind with your touch and words. Show them you are always there for your kid and help your kid to handle the anger.
Never skip the after tantrum moments because your child needs to express her feelings until she feels calm. Some might want you to hold them until they finish crying. Kids feelings doesn’t go away and ignoring it leads to showing up in other drastic ways which can be hard to deal with later.
This is how I always manage my daughter’s tantrum and really ” She is such a cutie pie and very co-operative”. I hope this article helps you understand and deal with your child’s temper tantrum moments. They really need you more than ever during this period. Comfort them and love unconditionally.
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